


When This Place Freezes Over

by newsonthemoon



Category: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Genre: Churches & Cathedrals, Fictional Religion & Theology, Gen, Going to Hell, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 11:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11252034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newsonthemoon/pseuds/newsonthemoon
Summary: As it turns out, being a member of the Church of Ghost is not, in fact, a Get Out of Hell Free card. Unfortunately, The Ghouls don't learn that until after they're accidentally sent there. Tasked by Lucifer himself to rescue his friends before they can return home, Earth begins to question his faith, and what it means to be part of the congregation.





	When This Place Freezes Over

**Author's Note:**

> As you may have seen from the tags, this story does briefly deal with some heavier subject matter than my other works. As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression as a result of my family situation, I tried to make sure that there was nothing overly graphic in the story. However, if you feel that any implication of suicide and emotional abuse would set you off, please don't feel obligated to read this story. I've put a detailed description of the potentially triggering material in the end notes if you would still like to read.

There were certain sounds members of the church were used to hearing--the clang of metal, distant chanting, hissing steam, and, as was the case today, the type of empty, soul crushing silence that made them aware of how alone they really were. What surprised them, instead, was the source of the sound.

  
“How come it isn’t playing?” Aether asked, leaning forward in his seat.

  
“Not sure…” Earth said, crouching to examine the record player. “Everything’s working fine. It should be…” He stood straight again, facing the rest of the ghouls with an apologetic shrug.

  
“Guess we don't get to play this hymn for you guys,” he said with a sigh. “Shame, really. Would have made a great intro for this next album.”

  
“Aw. Well, it's alright,” Water said, “You said there were hundreds of old records down in those catacombs, right? I'm sure we’ll find something else that’ll work.”

  
“I'm surprised it didn't play,” Air said, stepping away from the corner he’d settled in. “Those recordings have been safely stored there untouched for decades now. They should play just fine.”

  
“It _was_ playing fine this morning,” Earth said. “Alpha, you sure you handed me the right record just now?”

  
“Course I did,” Alpha said, pointing to the record sleeves piled on the coffee table, “It was the only one there. Right next to the one Imperator asked you two to get for her and never, ever pla--oh.” He brought a hand to his mask’s chin in thought, looking back over the table.

  
Earth said nothing, eyes going wide. His hands shot to the machine, reaching for the needle, before the record burst forth with a wall of sound, ear splitting and dissonant. What seemed like a thousand voices cried out from the machine, converging into a single, horrific melody. They spoke an ancient, forgotten language, screaming out in what sounded like absolute agony. Earth barely resisted the urge to lurch a step back, reaching for the machine with a shaking hand, before the sound abruptly stopped again. The room went completely silent, all of them, save for Air, too shaken to speak.

  
Air gestured toward Earth frantically, “There might still be time. Get that thing--”

  
There was a screech of metal scraping against metal, and the wall closest to Earth tore itself open, sending itself over the cliff’s edge. He flinched, stumbling forward a step as the opening widened, the walls crumbling around them.

  
“What's happening?” Water shouted, struggling to be heard over the din.

  
“It was the music!” Air shouted, motioning for them all to back away from the open air, “It wasn't meant to be played!”

  
“Then what's it for?” Alpha asked.

“Never mind that,” Air said, “we need to find a Clergy member before--

  
A deafening crackle tore through the air. Beneath them, the forest floor seemed to part in two, sending tremors throughout the area. The ground split open, revealing a cavern of pearlescent black walls. From within this tear emerged a wave of childlike laughter, before a large, root-like appendage shot out from some unseen source within it.

  
Alpha let out a shriek as it shot up from the ground, growing until it embedded itself into the church’s stone walls. Smaller limbs broke through its surface, burrowing themselves deep into every corner of the room. The section of the building collapsed in on itself beneath its grasp, it's walls crushed as easily as eggshells. Within the halls of the church, voices rose in panic as the room was ripped away from the rest of the building. Earth screamed as they were tilted over the edge, sending him and Aether plummeting into the abyss. As he fell, he could just barely hear the desperate voices of his friends over the air rushing past his ears.

  
But as he reached the black walls, open and ready for them, he heard one more voice, rising above the others effortlessly. It spoke to him in a hushed, vicious whisper, as if heard through clenched teeth.

  
“You have summoned me for the last time.”

  
The last thing he would remember afterward was the sight of the room ripped from its place, thrown down after them like a scornful gift. As he felt a scream rip from his throat, the sense of falling disappeared from his body, replaced by a growing, aching burn.

* * *

  
When Earth opened his eyes to a black sky, he briefly contemplated closing them again, rolling over, and pretending he’d never woken up. This idea was promptly discarded, however, when he felt a familiar prodding on his arm.

  
“Earth...Earth?” Aether said.

  
Suddenly, he felt Aether’s hands plant themselves on his shoulders as he was shaken awake, harshly enough to send his mask askew.

  
“EARRRRRRRRTH?” Aether yelled, voice shrill with fear.

  
Earth sputtered, letting out a surprised cry before he was able to speak, “I’m awake--fuck!”

  
The shaking slowed to a stop as Aether gently laid him down again, “Sorry. Got a little worried,” he said.

  
“Don’t blame you,” Earth said, struggling to sit up. He brought a hand to his head, straightening his mask as his eyes went wide. “Where are we?”

  
Aether withdrew his hands slowly, shaking his head silently.

  
“Wait--” Earth said. “--the others!”

  
“I-I don’t know where they ended up.” Aether said. “You’re the first one I’ve found out here.”

  
“Out here?” Earth repeated. His eyes darted around the area, catching only faint glimmers of light. The ground beneath them was stone, cracked and glowing red just beneath its surface. He felt it pulse under his fingertips, like a beating heart.

  
Earth gasped, pulling his hand away as if he’d been burned, and scrambled to get to his feet, “What is this place?”

  
“I wish I knew,” he sighed, shaking his head.

  
As Earth stood, he let himself take in his surroundings, more slowly this time. His eyes slowly grew used to the darkness, but there was nothing to be seen. The valley stretched before them, endless, featureless.

  
“How long were you looking for me?” Earth asked, panic rising in his voice as he faced him again.

  
Aether paused, rising to his feet. “I don’t know,” he said, as if it surprised even him, “Felt like days.“

  
“There was no sign of the others?” Earth said, struggling to keep his voice steady.

  
Aether looked away, shaking his head again.

  
Earth could feel his heart beat rapidly in his chest as the realization hit him. “Aether--” he said, “Aether, is this Hell?”

 

* * *

  
Alpha squinted up at the sky, eyes raking every inch. “You know, this place isn't as metal as I thought it was gonna be.”

  
“Of course not. It matches the description provided in our Unholy Book,” Air said, approaching him from behind. “‘Awaiting mankind beneath a starless sky, there shall be a valley of nothingness. It is here all who enter will be scattered among the plains, to await His judgement.’ Haven't you read that passage?”

  
“Er. Well. I skimmed it,” Alpha said, lowering his gaze.

  
Air said nothing, folding his hands behind his back as he looked up to the sky, as if he was waiting patiently for someone.

  
“Hey, Air?” Alpha said, glancing at him. “If that recording we played opens up portals to Hell, how come it was just sitting there on a shelf where anyone could take it?”

  
“The Clergy was unaware that any copies still existed before today,” Air said. “They ordered all of them destroyed decades ago when certain members were caught storing them for personal use. It seems one copy managed to slip through the cracks, hidden in plain sight. This is the recording that the Clergy requested Earth and Aether to fetch for them.”

  
“You think that's why she didn't tell them what the recording was?” Alpha asked, brows raising. “She thought they would try and keep it and screw us all over with one stupid move?”

  
“Interesting that you would ask that, considering the circumstances that led to this,” Air said, gesturing to the scene behind them with a single upward nod.

  
Behind them lay what remained of the gathering room, upturned and lying on its side. It's windows had shattered upon impact, littering ground with a mosaic of glass in every color. The walls were crumbling into dust, seemingly having shattered as easily as porcelain as it hit the ground.

  
Alpha went silent for a moment, peering at the wreck over his shoulder. Yeah...still sorry about that by the way.”

  
Air went silent again, exhaling slowly as he shut his eyes.

  
“Hey, so…” Alpha said cautiously, facing forward again. “If this is Hell, shouldn’t we be suffering, or--something?”

  
“Aren't we?” he muttered under his breath.

  
Before Alpha could respond, there was a flash in the sky. A brief, blinding light that would have stung their eyes had they looked at it directly. All at once afterward, the sky darkened, fading into an eye searing oxblood. A single beam of light pierced through the thick layer of smog, parting the thick cloud layer like the Red Sea.

  
Alpha staggered backwards as he looked up, eyes wide with awe.

  
“Hey, I was wrong!” he said, “This is super metal!”

* * *

  
Earth stumbled, falling to his knees, grimacing as he hit the ground. He cursed under his breath as he struggled to stand, unsteady.

  
Aether rushed to him. “Hey, hey--” he said. “--we can take a rest. Don't hurt yourself.”

  
“I'm fine,” Earth said weakly.

  
“Rest. We probably still have time.” Aether said firmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Earth sighed, relenting as he let himself sink to the ground. Aether joined him, sitting cross legged at his side.

  
“How long do you think we’ve been walking?” Earth mumbled.

  
“Still don't know,” Aether said. “Could have been hours. Days. Maybe if everything didn't look the same…” He lifted his head, scanning the horizon before letting out a frustrated sigh.

  
Earth sat up slowly, the now familiar rhythm pulsing against his fingertips. “So who do you hope we find first?”

  
“Anyone would be nice. Just to know they're safe,” Aether said.

  
“Would give us some good backup when we present our case to Him, too,” Earth said.

  
Aether nodded. “We’d get this all sorted out in no time.” He looked down. “I just hope...I hope to god…”

  
The flash in the sky caught his attention before he could continue. They both looked up in unison, watching it redden and tear itself in two. The clouds parted to reveal a plane of black glass, dark enough to obscure whatever was beyond its surface. Even through the dark tint, they could see the faintest flicker of light. Its light brightened and dimmed to the cadence of the voice it accompanied. The voice, both terrifying and comforting in nature, erupted forth from the clouds.

  
“Humans,” it called out, “I am the lightbringer Lucifer. Make your sacrifice, for your day of judgement has arrived. There is nowhere you can...what are you doing? Oh for--stop kneeling!”

  
But Aether and Earth were already on their knees, heads bowed as they recited their prayer, “My Dark Lord, we are not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I--”

  
“Rise! Both of you! It's far too late to start grovelling,” He snapped. “You fates were sealed the moment you pledged your souls to me.”

  
“Of course, my lord. Our apologies,” Aether said quickly, the two of them rushing to get to their feet. “We are prepared to receive our reward.”

  
“Very good. Now, which of you is Aether?”

  
Aether eagerly stepped forward. “That’s me, your worship!”

  
“Good, good. Now…” He began.

  
“We would be happy to give our minds and bodies in service to you, your infernal majesty. But before you bestow eternal life upon us, there was actually something we were hoping to clear up,” Aether said.

  
“Fascinating. Hold still, would you kindly?” He said.

  
“Wait--” Aether jumped back a step, just in time to watch the ground in front of him crack and separate. The spot where he’d once stood fell away, plunging into the hollow gulch below.

  
“Are you really going to make me do this?” He said.

  
Aether almost tackled Earth as he leapt away from where he was standing again, narrowly avoiding the crumbling ground.

  
“Lord, a word, that's all I ask for. As your most loyal servants, we--” Aether didn't get a chance to finish before he noticed the curling smoke rising up from his sleeve.

  
“WAIT--”

  
His word seemed to ignite the match, sending a trail of flames bursting forth from the fabric. It spread rapidly, lapping at the skin on his wrist. He stared down at his hands as the skin receded from his fingertips, the nails blackening and falling. Before he could even scream, he erupted into flames all at once. Earth could only stand back and watch as Aether’s skin peeled away, layer by layer, before it melted away from his bones. He gasped uselessly for air, the acrid smoke burning as it traveled down his throat and into his lungs, as if it was drowning him. As the flames finally shrank away, leaving nothing behind, he managed a single, desperate scream.

  
The flames vanished as quickly as they had appeared. Earth stood away from the patch of charred ground where Aether used to be, frozen in place. A shaking hand flew to his (mask’s) mouth, trying and failing to muffle a whimper.

  
“That takes care of that,” He said.

  
Earth looked back to the glass pane, vision blurred with horrified tears. “Did you…” Earth managed to whisper.

  
“Oh, you're probably wondering why you've yet to face your eternal punishment,” He said.

  
Earth remained silent, could not speak. He bowed his head, staring down at the charred patch again with wide eyes.

  
“It will come in due time, I can assure you. All I ask of you is to be patient. Until I decide on something suitable for you, you are free to wander the wasteland as you see fit.”

  
Earth said nothing, wiping his eyes.

  
“Right then,” He said. “I'll leave you to it.”

  
As if he was in a hurry to leave, the sky returned to its natural form all at once, plunging the desert into darkness once again.

  
Earth sunk to his knees, realization slowly clouding his mind.

  
“The others…” he mumbled, “They're probably all…”

  
He trailed off, the sharp sound of crackling distracting him from his thoughts. Earth looked up in time to see the crevices, still in place where Aether had been standing, widen rapidly. Cracks were spreading from their edges, fracturing the earth as they grew with each second.

  
He gasped, rushing to get to his feet before the ground gave way beneath him. But even as he reached down to steady himself before standing, his hand hit nothing but air. He let out a cry as he tumbled headfirst over the edge, plunging down into the underground cavern.

  
And promptly landing conveniently away from a row of menacing-looking stalagmites. Less convenient was the rocky floor he landed on, as well as the fact that he’d landed squarely on his head. After taking a moment to determine whether he’d snapped his neck (and wonder where he had left to go if he died down there), Earth let his head fall back against the ground. The cold, damp floor did little to help his pain subside. Laying there in the darkness, his entire body aching from his fall, Earth had a hard time justifying the effort it would take to get up again.

  
Moments passed. With a great sigh, he forced himself to sit up, cursing under his breath at the sharp pain that followed. His arms trembled as he shifted onto his knees, moving to his feet. Gritting his teeth, he stood fully, legs shaking beneath him. Once his back was straight, he let his eyes wander, taking in his new surroundings once again.

  
The room, if it could be called that, was walled off by a slab of rock. With the light leaking in from above, Earth could see that every surface glistened, likely moist to the touch. In the distance, he could hear drippings from the ceiling, drawing his attention to the stalactites looming up above. Ahead of him was a lone path, well traveled if its smoothness was any indication, that ran along the wall. He squinted his eyes as he took a step in its direction, one hand going to the wall as he drew closer. With one last glance up to the light, he started down the road, keeping his hand on the wall to guide him as he walked. There was no where else to go, he thought, moving away from the light with every step. But he had time to decide what to do next.

* * *

  
After being thrown down into his own freshly dug grave (then blinded by a light, then whacked upside the head with something heavy, then thrown into another grave) Alpha found himself waking up among a familiar row of church pews. Granted, he was used to falling asleep there, but that was usually during Mass. And judging by the rows of empty seats, lack of lighting, and pitch blackness just outside the windows, it was nowhere near the usual time for services.

  
He stood, lifting himself up by one of the benches, listening carefully for any sign of life. But there wasn't a single sound in the room, save for his own breathing. He began making his way towards the exit at the other end of the room, eyeing his surroundings suspiciously.

  
“Sooo...if anything is gonna, like, pop out and try and disembowel me,” he called out, “I'm warning you, I’ve got mace-” He patted his pockets.

  
“Somewhere.” He paused, before shuffling off to the side of the room.

  
“But, you know, if you just wanted to leave me alone, I wouldn't complain,” he added. There was no answer, the clearest sign in his mind that he should seek shelter. His eyes darted around the room, before quickly settling on the nearby confession booth.  
He hurried over, crouching down and tucking himself away through the door frame and slamming the door behind him. He leaned against the side of the small room, breathing a sigh of relief.

  
“Didn't even know we had one of these,” he said to himself, shifting to a more comfortable position.

  
“Why wouldn't we?” a breathy voice asked.

  
“Isn't confession a Catholic thing? Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to--” Alpha said, before movement behind the criss crossed panel caught his eye, “Oh! Sorry, didn't see you there. I figured Hell would be more of a solo thing.”

  
“Hell?” the voice repeated.

  
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is Hell anyway,” Alpha said, scratching the back of his neck, “I mean, Satan was here a minute ago, he said something about giving us what we deserved, I got my hopes up, and then Air got eaten by something. Not sure what. So my hopes were crushed.” He paused. “Hey, what's your name, anyway?”

  
“I have no name. I am whoever I'm needed to be,” the voice said.

  
“Huh. That's pretty cool,” he said. “I don't have a name either. You can call me Alpha, though.”

  
She giggled. “I know who you are. That's why I've come here.”

  
“Come...to Hell?” he said, brows creasing. “Or do you mean this box?”

  
She abruptly stood up from her seat, rushing out of her side of the confessional to join him. With a loud slam, she threw open the door, hiking up the skirt of her habit as she crawled onto the bench next to him.

  
“I'm ready, Alpha! You don’t need to restrain yourself.”

  
“What?” Alpha said, watching, blank faced, as she reached for her veil.

  
“Take me now!” she said, ripping it off and tossing it to the floor.

  
Alpha’s hand flew to cover his eyes, as he slid off the bench, crouching low to the ground.

  
“Here, let me grab that for you.” He scooped up the fabric in his other hand, still looking away as he offered it to her. There was a pause, before she took it and slipped it back on, confusion flashing across her features.

  
“Uh-” she returned to her previous tone, “--punish me, Alpha! For I have sinned!”

  
“We’re Satanists. Isn’t sinning kind of our thing?” Alpha asked, “And Imperator’s usually the one to punish us.”

  
She scooted closer, as if she hadn’t heard him. “Chain me up in the dungeons and make me pay for being such a filthy whore! ” she said.

  
Alpha glanced towards the exit, “Um, I’m not really into that sort of thing, actual--wait, did someone call you a whore?” There was a flash of concern in his eyes as he stopped, halfway to his feet. “Do you need me to talk to them?”

  
“ _No_ , I _don’t_ ,” she said impatiently.

  
“Oh. Well, let me know if you do,” Alpha said, moving to stand again.

  
“You’re leaving?” she said, face falling.

  
“It’s not you, honest!” he assured her, “I appreciate the offer, but, you know, we just met, I’m still trying to figure out how to get back home--”

  
He brushed past her on his way to the door, instantly shredding her skirt to the knees. He blinked, pausing briefly, before continuing out the door.

  
“What the heck are they making the Sisters’ habits out of nowadays?” he mumbled.

  
Alpha stepped out once again into the empty room, eyes flickering towards the exit once again. He turned to head for the door, only to stop short upon catching sight of another Sister, a coil of rope slung over her shoulder.

  
“Uh, hey there,” he said, trying to walk past her. She hurried towards him before he could leave, the rope trailing behind her.

  
“Alpha, wait! Aren’t you going to participate in my ceremony?” she called out.

  
“Ceremony?” he said, slowing to a stop.

  
“My ritualistic deflowering!” she said, catching up to him. “To initiate me into the church. The altar’s ready and the Clergy is all lined up to watch over us.”

  
“Uh, I don’t really like people watching,” he said, looking away. “And since when did our initiation rituals involve sexy stuff? All I got to do was lie in a coffin…” He turned away. “Anyway, maybe some other time. Right now I’ve got stuff to do.” He gestured towards the door before hurrying off, quickening his pace.

  
Alpha sighed with relief as he reached the door, pushing it open with his shoulder and emerging from the room with a grin on his face. He carefully shut the door behind him before looking up, hoping the hallway candles would be lit to help him find his way (he hadn’t quite worked out his destination yet, but he could figure something out). But instead of the uncomfortably realistic mummified human hand sconces, he was greeted by the familiar, sparsely furnished environment of a backstage area. He looked around the room, searching for any sign that he wasn’t alone. But there was no one, the worn couch being the only sign that the room had ever been occupied. He looked back over his shoulder, only to find the door he had just entered through was nowhere to be found.

  
Alpha shuddered as he approached the couch, deciding a moment’s pause might help him decide what to do next. He plunked down with a heavy sigh, one hand going to remove his mask. Before he could lift it off, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye, turning to see yet another woman sitting next to him.

  
“Okay seriously, who are you people?” he asked.

  
“You’re the one who invited me backstage,” she said, hands going to the hem of her Ghost shirt, “Want me to make it worth your while?”

  
“Uh, I'm kind of busy right now, thanks,” he said, “And I don’t want to sound like a prude, but I don’t even have a condom on me.”

  
“What’s a condom?” she asked, completely serious.

  
“Alpha?” a voice called out, muffled through the door.

  
“I’m not in the mood!” Alpha called out.

  
“Alpha?” the voice said, “Can you hear me?”

  
Alpha sat up straighter, “Wait. Earth? Is that you?” He jumped up from the couch to open up for him, almost sprinting for the door.

  
“Earth!” Alpha said, his smile almost audible. Earth looked back at him, wide eyed, before leaning out to examine the cave wall.

  
“Where the hell did this door come from?” he said.

  
“Ooh, your drummer’s here, too? Is he gonna join us?” the woman asked, moving to tug her top off again.

  
“Well, I am in a much better mood than I was a second ago,” Alpha said, looking back at her over his shoulder.

  
“No. No no no,” Earth said, tugging Alpha through the door by his cassock collar, “Remember where we are. I guarantee you she’ll turn into Papa I halfway through.”

  
“But maybe if we’re quick--”

  
Earth shut the door behind them before he could finish that sentence. Even before it met its frame, the door seemed to vanish, shattering itself into dust. Both of them lurched a step back, staring at the cave wall in silence. It took a moment for either of them to speak.

  
“So…” Alpha looked around the dimly lit cave, unconsciously trying to wipe a bead of sweat from his brow. “This is your hell? Humidity and rocks?”

  
“No,” Earth said with a huff. “But now that you’re here, that might change.”

  
“Then what is this place?” Alpha asked, ignoring his remark, “Some kind of waiting room?”

  
“I’m not sure,” he said. “I’m only here because…” He paused.

  
“The ground collapsed after Aether received his punishment. I barely survived the fall. I was walking around down here for hours when I heard your voice.”

  
“Cool,” Alpha said absently, wandering away to examine the rest of the cave. “You think everyone else is down here, too?”

  
“What?” Earth said, rushing to follow him.

  
“I mean, if that door was an illusion, maybe everything down here is actually just cave,” he said, veering to the left to examine the wall more closely. “And everything else I saw--the church, the chick, the backstage area--was just like, holograms. So that way, He can keep everyone down here in one location, but everyone gets their own Hell.”

  
“I know exactly what you’re saying, and you’re still not making any sense,” Earth said, “And what do you mean the church? Just what was in that room?”

  
“The chapel, this one backstage area, bunch of people I’ve never even seen before,” Alpha said, one hand going to the wall. “It was weird. I just opened up one door and there I was, somewhere completely different.”

  
Earth’s hand went to his temple as he tried to make sense of what he’d just heard. “Couldn’t have been exactly like the real structure, then. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t all real.” He looked up towards the crumbling ceiling as he continued. “This place is supposed to be His kingdom. There’s no way this is all there is to it.”

  
“Never know,” Alpha said, stopping short and leaning in towards the wall, “We could be walking by someone’s Hell Cubicle right now. Maybe a door will appear out of nowhere soon.”

  
“The door was probably real, it just disappeared to keep you from re-entering,” Earth said, before stepping up next to Alpha to look at him.

  
“Also, ‘Hell Cubicle’?”

  
“It works,” Alpha said, crossing his arms.

  
As he did so, a single fragment of rock dropped from the ceiling, landing squarely on his head. It bounced off his mask with a high pitched ping, sending both of them looking up for its source.

  
“Where’d that come from?” Alpha asked.

  
“Probably one of these ceiling drippings,” Earth said, gesturing up. “Maybe we should move a little...” He shuffled back a step, eyes still fixed upwards.

  
“Dude, relax, it was one pebble,” Alpha said, snorting.

  
As if in response, a section of ceiling suddenly erupted into a fit of loud cracks, before collapsing down all at once. Alpha cried out, hands going to cover his head as he scurried away, narrowly avoiding being pelted with rocks. Even from a safe distance, the air now coated both of them with a thin layer of dust, a curtain which only parted as light emerged from the opening up above.

  
“That was close,” Alpha said between coughs. Again, as if someone had heard him, a single, fist sized rock hurled itself down from the opening, hitting Alpha right between the eyes. He stumbled backwards, collapsing to the ground.

  
Earth hurried over to him, crouching and waving a hand in front of his face. “Alpha? Alpha?”

  
Out cold.

  
“What kind of--” Earth began, just as a familiar laugh filled his ears.

  
“That never gets old,” He said, “Now tell me, how did you get down here? And what made you think I wouldn’t notice you freeing one of my prisoners?”

  
“Your infernal majesty,” Earth said, putting on his most respectful tone. “I swear to you, I’m not here by choice. The ground collapsed beneath me, and--and I only found my fellow member when I heard his voice while I was wandering.”

  
“Drop your niceties, why don’t you?” He said. “I’d much prefer it if you looked upon me with sincere hatred.”

  
“That’s not something we’re capable of. You are our lightbringer, our dark father, we’ve dedicated our lives to you--” Earth began.

  
“A horrible decision, really,” He said. “Have you a speech prepared, human? Or would you care to save us all some time and get to your point?”

  
“Lord, I trust your judgement, but please--” Earth gestured around him. “--what have we done deserve this treatment? The Church of Ghost worships you when no one else will. We were taught that we’d serve you at your side in Hell. Has something changed? Have we offended you?”

  
“You think I need a group of pathetic humans to keep my flame burning?” He said sharply. “I’ve existed since before humanity’s creation, before your little congregation ever existed.”

  
Earth looked away, the confusion in his expression gradually giving way to anger. He looked back up at the sky, even as the light stung his eyes, “So that's it then? All we’ve done to spread your word, and we mean nothing to you?”

  
“Mankind means less than nothing to me,” He said. “Now then, I've let you say your piece, and your dimwitted friend has a Prime Mover waiting for him.”

  
“Prime Mover? What?” Earth said, turning to face Alpha, still splayed out on the ground. There was a pause, before the now-familiar smell of burning fabric filled the air.

  
“Wait!” Earth said, just as a single curl of smoke began to rise up from Alpha’s sleeve, “We--we’re not even supposed to be here! He accidentally summoned the portal, it's not our time yet!” The smoke froze in mid air, before winding backwards into nothing.

  
“What did you say?” He asked.

  
“Th-the record,” Earth said, trying and failing to hide is desperation. “He accidentally played a recording of a hymn that opened up that portal. We’re not supposed to be dead, this whole thing is just a misunderstanding!”

  
“What hymn was this?” He said after a pause.

  
Earth racked his brain for the proper Latin, piecing together the image of the record sleeve in his mind. “Sic itur ad ignis,” he finally said, “That was it.”

  
He was silent for a long while, before something sounding like a exhaled breath came rushing down from above, “You are...correct.”

  
“S-so you'll let us go?” Earth asked cautiously.

  
“I'm afraid not,” He said, “Now, once again--”

  
Earth didn't even bother turning to look this time. “Wait! Why not?” he hollered, the acrid smell bursting forth even stronger this time.

  
“While it is true that you have offered yourself up for judgement before your proper time, that does not mean I can allow you to leave without consequence. This is a prison, make no mistake. Escape must not come easily.”

  
“What do you mean you can't allow us?” Earth said, rushing over to Alpha and stripping off his cassock, throwing it down to smother the flames, “This is your kingdom, can't you--”

  
“ _This is my prison as much as it is yours_!” He shouted, silencing him, “All I have been left with is wasteland, and the burden of watching over His bastards! Do not try and tell me that my word is law, do not.”

  
Earth froze, letting the garment fall to the ground.

  
“As I was saying,” He continued, regaining his mocking tone, “The most I can offer you is a deal.”

  
Earth took a moment to calm himself before replying. “Will...will we be allowed to negotiate the terms?”

  
“I do not negotiate. If you don't want it--” He began. The fire flared up, sending a column of flames twisting up in the air.

  
Earth screeched, jumping back, “We want it!”

  
“Very good.” The fire disappeared, dissolving into the air. “I will allow you and the other members of your congregation to return to your previous lives, on two conditions. First, you must gather all of those who were with you at the time of the summoning and draw them out from their illusions one by one.”

  
“Th-that’s all our Hells are, then?” Earth asked cautiously, “Illusions?”

  
“Illusions. Some created from your memories, others created from your greatest fears. Some just for my amusement. You can ask your friend about that.”

  
Earth glanced back at him over his shoulder.

  
“You will find them among the many cells scattered about the caves. Their locations will be marked for you, but that’s all you will be provided with.”

  
“Sounds easy enough,” Earth said, looking back up at Him.

  
“Do not misunderstand me; even if the only force keeping you suffering is your own self, there is a reason Hell traps all those who enter.”

  
“But what about him?” Earth gestured towards Alpha, who by this point was snoring softly. “I was able to get him out just fine.”

  
“True, but do you really believe he would have been smart enough to break his illusion on his own?”

  
Earth mumbled something to himself, looking away.

  
“The second condition, I will explain to you in due time. Will you accept this offer?”

  
Earth looked down at Alpha again and sighed, “Yes, I accept your offer.”

  
“Very well. You may proceed as you see fit,” as He continued, his voice fading rapidly, “I am needed elsewhere. Get out of my sight.”

  
Earth squinted up at the sky through the gaping hole in the ceiling, still intact.

  
He shut his eyes, his head hanging. “All these years we’ve wasted…” he muttered. He stayed that way for a moment before letting his eyes raise. He took a step forward before stopping short, head snapping up.

  
“Wait, do I have to bring him?” he shouted up to the ceiling, gesturing at Alpha. When he was met with silence, Earth rushed over to him, dropping to his knees and making a fist with one hand.

  
“Dude!” Earth said, bringing his fist down on his chest, “Wake up--”

  
_Wham._

  
“--I don't think I'm supposed to leave you here--”

  
_Wham._

  
“--and I'm not carrying you!”

  
_Wham._

  
“Wha--” Alpha mumbled, lifting his head. He blinked several times before sitting up a bit, “Are we still in Hell?”

  
He cracked a smile when he caught sight of Earth, “Hey, maybe this is that other place!”

  
It took Earth a moment to realize what he was getting at, before he snatched his cassock up from the ground, rolling his eyes. “Get up, I've got a lot to explain,” he said, hurriedly slipping it over his shoulders.

* * *

  
“Wait,” Alpha said, “so I was right about the Hell cubicle thing?”

  
“Is that really what you want to be focusing on right now?” Earth said, quickening his steps to stay ahead of him.

  
“But was I?” Alpha said.

  
“No,” Earth said quickly, before adding, “Well, kind of.”

  
He paused.

  
“Yeah, you were right.”

  
“And now all we have to do is get the others out of their cubicles? And he already found them for us?” Alpha continued, “And after that do we get access to the real Hell? With a fully stocked bar and lots of buff women to carry us around on thrones while we’re serenaded by Ronnie James Dio?”

  
“Uh, no.”

  
“Oh,” Alpha said, looking down at his feet, “You know, I pictured Hell as being a little cooler than it ended up being.”

  
“There are a lot of things I pictured differently before today,” Earth said, “But we can explain it all to the others once we’re all back home.”

  
“Eh? What do you mean?” Alpha said, just as another thought struck him, “Wait, did He ever say how their cells would be marked”

  
“He conveniently left that part out,” Earth said as they turned a corner. “We’ll just have to keep on the lookout for some sort of mark, I guess.”

  
“You think that’ll work?” Alpha asked, brows raised.

  
Earth sighed in frustration, “It’s the best we’ve got.”

  
“I'm just saying, we could be wandering this place forever,” he said, “There’s got to be another way than just hoping really hard we walk by something.”

  
“I know,” Earth said impatiently, “If you have a suggestion, I'd love to hear it.”

  
Alpha veered closer to the walls as he trailed him. He raised a fist to the stone, tapping his knuckles lightly against it as he walked. “Maybe if I…” he said.

  
“What are you doing?” Earth asked, stopping to glance at him over his shoulder.

  
“I'm just thinking--if these caves have cubicles carved into them, maybe some parts will sound like it. You know, like when a box has nothing inside it, and you tap it, and it just sounds empty? Or like when you hit a drum?”

  
“You're still not making any sense,” Earth said, before adding, “But it’s worth a shot.” He let his hand trail along the wall for a few steps, before forming a fist and copying Alpha’s movements.

  
Almost as soon as Earth’s fist hit the wall, Alpha let out a triumphant cry, motioning him over with his other hand.

  
“Found one!” he said

  
Earth walked towards him, one brow raised.

  
“I don't think it counts as ‘finding’ something if it's already been marked for you.” He pointed at the faintly glowing red streak painted diagonally across the section of wall.

  
“Oh. Well. I guess that helped too,” Alpha said, already planting both hands on the wall.

  
“Also, we should probably try getting Aether to open up fir--”

  
Alpha grunted as he leaned forward, putting all his weight on his hands. When the wall didn't give, he let out a puff of air, letting his head hang.

  
“As I was saying, I don't think these will open from the outs--”

  
Alpha panted a few times before redoubling his efforts, air hissing out from his gritted teeth.

  
“You know what, I'm just going to let you finish,” Earth said, stepping back.

  
Before he even reached the other wall, a barely contained groan in frustration came from behind the wall.

  
“It's a pull door!” a voice hollered.

  
Alpha jumped back, barely avoiding the door as (a very irritated, very powdery) Aether swung it open. Earth wrinkled his nose as an artificial scent wafted in. An almost perfect beam of white fluorescent light emanated from the room, stacked high with color coded products, if the brief glimpse Earth caught was any indication.

  
“It says right there on the hand...le…” Aether said, trailing off as he looked up, annoyed expression disappearing, “Alpha?”

  
Alpha’s eyes lit up when he saw Aether was happy to see him, “Yes, Alpha! And Earth.”

  
He looked away quickly, suddenly sheepish. “Oh. Uh, hey guys. Sorry for yelling. It’s been a long day. So, ah, were you planning on buying anything?”

  
“Ooh, is that your Hell? A store? Can I see?” Alpha asked, leaning forward and popping his head in.

  
“I--guess--” Aether said, stepping aside. “I’m really not supposed to help customers who aren’t planning on spending money, though.”

  
“Aether, Aether,” Earth said, hurrying over and brushing past Alpha. “You know where you are, right?”

  
“At...my old job?” Aether said.

  
“Hell. You’re in Hell,” Earth said.

  
“Oh. I thought you meant besides that,” Aether said. “I--”

  
“Will someone get over here and help me?” a voice screeched from behind him.

  
Before he could even turn around, Earth had grabbed Aether’s sleeve, keeping him from leaving.

  
“Long story short--that customer isn’t real, none of this is. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can leave,” Earth said.

  
“Leave?” Aether said, “We’re in the middle of a holiday rush, I can’t just abandon everyone.”

  
“You’re _not_ abandoning anyone,” Earth said. “Look, all of our Hells are just built into the underground caves. Everything is just an illusion. You’re not at your old job, you’ve just been sentenced to eternal damnation by an uncaring god. Now--” Earth moved his hand to clamp it down around Aether’s wrist, trying and failing to drag him through the threshold. Aether stood his ground, looking over his shoulder with panicked eyes.

  
“I’ll be right there, ma’am!” he said, wrenching himself from Earth’s grasp and scurrying off. Earth watched him leave with narrowed eyes, before throwing his hands up in disbelief.

  
“Seriously? He’d rather stay here than come with us?” Earth said.

  
“Hey, c’mon,” Alpha said, “Cut him some slack. He said it’s been a rough day. Maybe he just needs some time to process things.”

  
“‘Process things,’” Earth repeated under his breath. “I watched him get set on fire! He knows he’s in Hell! There’s literally nothing keeping him here.”

  
“Except that lady with the thick eyebrows throwing rubbing alcohol at him,” Alpha said, pointing in Aether’s direction. “You think this place sells hand sanitizer by the way? Mine are all slimy after trying to get that door open.”

  
Earth brought a hand to his mask’s forehead, letting it linger there for a moment before looking up again. “Alright. Why don't we go ask him?”

  
He motioned Alpha over with a single nod of his head, and the two of them entered the store, their dress shoes clicking loudly on the polished white tile.

  
The two of them stepped quickly, weaving between rows upon rows of customers, all very well-dressed, none happy. The aisles themselves were in disarray, with lipstick and eyeshadow in every shade scattered about haphazardly. Even the mirrors, all in a row at the center of the store, were piled high with discarded tools and brushes, badly in need of cleaning.

  
“Aether worked here?” Alpha said, plucking a packet from a shelf as they passed. “You think he’s into makeup?”

  
“How should I know?” Earth remarked, gesturing to his mask. “I've never seen his face.”

  
“Also--would you say my skin needs ‘brightening’?” Alpha asked, glancing at the back of the package.

  
“See my previous answer. Come on, there he is,” Earth said, pointing to the one employee in the crowd wearing a demon mask with his uniform.

  
“--I know what the Internet says, ma’am, but you really should be putting lemon on your face,” Aether said, flinching as the customer snapped at him.

  
“Excuse me?” Earth called out. Aether looked to the customer, then to him, bearing an uncanny resemblance to a doe facing down a pair of headlights the entire time.

  
“I'm assisting another customer,” he said, words spilling out quickly, “Could you please wait a moment?”

  
“I don't have a moment,” Earth said, “I want to speak to your manager.”

  
Aether visibly seized up, his eyes widening. "O-oh. Of course. Just let me finish up here, please." He turned back to the customer, bowing his head shyly. "Uh, the lemon, it's way too acidic. You'll end up harming your skin in the long run."

  
"You know what?" she said. “I've had enough of this. Let me speak to your manager, too."

  
"I'm sorry?" Aether said.” Is there a problem?"

  
"Yeah, with your attitude," Earth said.

  
"Did you actually just say that?" Alpha whispered.

  
"Shut up. I have a plan," Earth muttered.

  
"Just a moment, please," Aether said, head hanging. "I'll go get him."

  
"Let us come with you!" Earth said quickly, before adding, "Just to make sure you don't try and get out of this."

  
"Right this way," Aether said, half-heartedly motioning for them to follow him. He started towards the other end of the store, eyes still lowered. As they approached the front desk, Earth nudged Alpha's shoulder.

  
"Play along with me on this one,” he whispered. “We’ve just got to start an argument, make sure things escalate into a fist fight, you and his manager will take things outside, Lucifer will have to create an entire outside environment to keep the illusion going--”

  
“Hey, it’s Leonard!” Alpha said, pointing to the man behind the front desk.

  
“What?” Earth said. “That’s--” He looked up in time to see Aether approach the man’s desk, still not looking up as he spoke to him.

  
“Uh, Mr. Ngata? We have some complaints…” he said.

  
“Seriously?” Earth said. “Leonard’s our band manager!”

  
“Hi Leonard!” Alpha said, ignoring him. “How are things?” There was no recognition in Leonard’s eyes as he spoke.

  
“What seems to be the issue, gentlemen?” Leonard asked, face expressionless.

  
“The issue is that none of this is real--you’re not really our manager. Or his,” Earth said, exasperated. “You’re an illusion of what’s supposed to be Aether’s manager from his old job, and Satan couldn’t even get that right.”

  
“I see. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Can I offer you a gift card?” Leonard said.

  
“Depends. will it still work outside of Hell?” Alpha asked.

  
“I can’t believe this conversation,” Earth muttered, before turning back to Aether.

  
“Alright, you want proof that this isn’t real?” Earth said. He held out his hand to Alpha, palm turned up.“You still have that face mask?”

  
“Yeah, but to be honest, I’m starting to think I might not need it,” Alpha said.

  
Earth looked up at him once, before reaching down and snatching the packet out of Alpha’s hand. Without giving them time to react, Earth turned on his heel, sprinting towards the nearest exit.

  
“You’ll thank me for this later!” he shouted as he ran, nearly stumbling in his dress shoes.

  
“Earth, wait--you forgot to pay!” Alpha cried out, hurrying after him.

  
As if he had been waiting for this moment, Aether tossed off his apron, throwing it to the ground before launching himself in their direction.

  
“We don’t tolerate shoplifters here!” Aether shouted, voice harsher than Earth had ever heard it. Earth made a mental note regarding Aether’s pent up anger, which was quickly forgotten as he approached the now growing barrier to his exit.

  
The crowd refused to part for them, freezing in place as if to slow their escape. Without shame, Earth cleared his and Alpha’s path as they ran, tossing the other shoppers aside as Alpha hollered his apologies to them.

  
“He’s not usually like this!” Alpha said, rushing to retrieve a customer’s wallet from the ground.

  
“For fuck’s sake,” Earth muttered under his breath, quickly discarding the idea of slowing down for him. The exit was in his sights, as was Aether, reflected in the door’s glass surface. With a sharp cry, Aether reached out, grabbing a fistful of Earth’s sleeve in his hand just as Earth crossed the threshold. In a fit of righteous fury (or possibly extreme annoyance) Earth rolled his eyes, before turning and grabbing Aether’s arm in turn, yanking him forward over the threshold. Unfortunately for him, the effect was less “dramatic” and more “bruise-causing,” as tends to be the case with two people losing their balance and falling backwards onto hard rock.

  
“What…” Aether said, sitting up and blinking in the darkness (and forgetting that he was still sitting on Earth’s chest). As his eyes adjusted to the lack of light, they wandered back to the stolen packet in Earth’s hand. But it had disappeared, having disintegrated into a fine white sand, slipping between his fingers. “How--” His head snapped back to the exit, in time to see Alpha duck on his way out. He shut the door gingerly behind him, turning to watch it collapse in on itself, folding away before disappearing.

  
“You’re kind of crushing me right now. Just pointing that out,” Earth managed to say.

  
Alpha stepped up next to them. “You’re not in Hell! How does it feel?” He stopped briefly before continuing. “Wait, no, you’re still in Hell. But don’t worry, we have a plan to get out!”

  
“What?” Aether said sharply.

  
“Okay, long story short,” Earth wheezed. “Hell is a bunch of illusions. Everyone’s Hells are carved into this cave that I fell in.”

  
“Yes, I got all of that,” Aether said with a nod. “But why are we here to begin with? What did we do wrong?”

  
Earth went silent for a moment. “Nothing. But that was enough.”

  
Aether stared down at him, eyes clouding with confusion.

  
“Look, Aether,” Earth said. “It’s clear we’ve been worshipping someone who doesn’t want to be worshipped. But that’s not what we should focus on right now.”

  
“Doesn’t want to be--” Aether muttered. “What do you mean?”

  
“...get off me first,” Earth said flatly.

  
“Oh! Right, sorry.” Aether said, shifting off of him, then standing.

  
Earth took a moment to stare up at the ceiling before getting to his feet, teeth gritted in pain.

  
“What did you mean, Earth?” Aether asked, more insistently this time.

  
“I mean that He made it clear that our church doesn’t matter to him, alright?” he said, sharply enough to make him flinch.

  
“But we devoted everything to Him,” Aether said, quiet desperation growing in his voice. “We gave up our lives to serve Him.”

  
“And none of that mattered!” Earth said. “After everything we’ve done for him, in his eyes we’re just another group of humans. We need to move past Him and work on getting home.” Despite himself, Earth’s voice faltered as he spoke.

  
Aether looked away, drawing his hands into fists.

  
Earth’s expression softened. “...m’sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.”

  
“If what you’re saying is true…” Aether said slowly, looking up again. “Then we’ll have a lot to discuss once all this is over.”

  
Earth nodded, but said nothing, unable to meet his eyes.

  
“I think...that will happen faster if I knew how exactly you plan to get us home?” Aether said.

  
“Oh. Right,” Earth said, nodding. “After I found Alpha, He caught us and offered me a deal. We can leave, but only after we get all the others out from their Hells.”

  
“The others!” Aether said, a flash of genuine surprise in his eyes, “You found them?”

  
“Yeah, kind of!” Alpha interjected. “We just don’t know where they are.”

  
“Uh,” Aether said, stopping for only a moment. “That’s...better than nothing, I guess.”

  
“It’s not as hopeless as it sounds,” Earth said. “It’s just a matter of finding the marked sections of wall.”

  
“That sounds helpful.” Aether said, laughing nervously. “So...where to next?”

  
“That direction,” Alpha said, pointing back over his shoulder. “I mean, it’s the only one, so.”

  
“That makes sense,” Aether said with a nod. He looked to Earth. “Lead the way?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Earth grumbled, massaging his ribs. “Let’s get going.”

* * *

  
Alpha’s hands were pressed against another section of the rock wall, this time with Aether joining him.

  
“Open!” Alpha cried out, as if it would help. “OPEN!”

  
“Would you two stop and think?” Earth said. “I just said the door’s probably not going to open from the outside.”

  
“Oh, what, should we just not try, then?” Alpha said between pants.

  
“We should probably stop and try to get their attention before breaking our backs trying to enter it,” Earth retorted. “Do you know how much time we could be wasting right now?”

  
“But we have time to waste,” Aether said, looking at Earth over his shoulder.

  
“Sure, but do you really want to spend god knows how long trying to get this thing open?” Earth said with annoyed grunt.

  
“But what if we do all that attention getting stuff and then it turns out Air can't hear us from outside?” Alpha said. “Then we'll just end up looking stupid.”

  
“Too late,” Earth muttered.

  
“So are you going to come help, or just stand there making smart remarks?” Alpha asked. “Because--”

  
There was a knock from within the walls.

  
“Are you boys finished?” a voice said.

  
“Air?” Aether said, looking up.

  
“Air, can you hear us?” Alpha said, turning back and laying his head against the rock.

  
There was a long pause. “No,” Air said, “I was actually talking to myself just now.”

  
“Oh. Well then how did you know what I just said?” Alpha asked.

  
Silence.

  
And the wall parted neatly, splitting in two and folding out as easily as a set of doors. The room revealed to them was small, windowless, jarring in its sterility. From up above, piped in from a set of unseen speakers, came the empty sound of easy listening muzak.

  
Earth approached the room with caution, arms raised defensively. As he passed through the doors, he blinked up at the room’s speaker, squinting in the face of a set of fluorescent lights.

  
“Is that…” Earth said, mostly to himself.

  
“‘Missionary Man’?” Aether said.

  
“It’s been playing on a loop since I arrived here,” Air said.

  
Earth turned to see Air, arms folded across his chest as he stepped out from the furthest corner of the room. Without another word, Air passed the three of them, stepping out into the cave without so much as glancing back at them. As he reached the other end of the hallway, he turned back, and leaned against the wall, eyeing them impatiently.

  
Earth looked down once, before exiting the room. As he left, the doors slid closed behind him, meeting together and merging, as if they had never separated at all.

  
“Well then.” Earth looked back at the wall one last time. He looked over to Air, still off on his own by the wall.

  
“You’re probably wondering what’s going on,” Earth said.

  
“I’m sure I’ve got the gist of it,” Air said.

  
Earth stopped short, the explanation he had planned suddenly drifting from his memory. “Oh,” he said. “You sure?”

  
“You managed to escape your Hell, were caught, and made a deal with Him to get the rest of us free? On some unspoken condition, no doubt. Am I correct?” Air asked.

  
“More or less,” Earth said.

  
“And each of our cells have received some sort of marking to distinguish them?” he said, pointing to the red streak that adorned the wall.

  
“Yeah, that too,” Earth sighed.

  
“Then I'm sure.”

  
“Alright, uh…” Earth cast his eyes down the path ahead. “Guess we should keep walking then."

  
“A fantastic choice,” Air said. He pushed himself off from the wall, sauntering down the path.

  
Earth watched him leave, before attempting to exchange glances with Aether. But he and Alpha were already off, hurrying to catch up to Air. Earth scurried after them, settling between Alpha and Aether as he slowed to a steady pace.

  
“What next?” Alpha said, humming to himself as his fingertips grazed along the wall.

  
“What do you mean what next?” Earth said, glancing at him. “We still have to find Water.”

  
“Yeah, I kinda figured. Just checking,” Alpha said. “What do you think her Hell will be like? All fire and brimstone?”

  
“I doubt He’s gonna want to go the traditional route with anyone down here,” Earth said. “That guy’s got a lot of time on his hands. He’s gotten creative.”

  
“Maybe she’s trapped in a room where everything she needs is on the highest shelf,” Aether said. Alpha snorted. Earth wondered how willing Air would be to lift her later.

  
“Nah, she’s got those heels on. That’s probably what Earth’s Hell was,” Alpha said.

  
“I didn’t get a Hell, actually,” Earth said, tone thoughtful. “He said I'd need to wait.”

  
“Huh. That’s good, I guess.” Aether said.

  
“Lazy is what is is,” Alpha said. “Betcha He’s just stalling until he thinks of a good one.”

  
“I don’t know. I feel like we shouldn’t question it,” Aether said.

  
“Oh, what, you think He’ll hear us and set us on fire again?” Alpha asked, snickering.

  
“Don’t give Him any ideas,” Earth said flatly. “And anyway, it’s useless to speculate what her Hell could be like. He seems to enjoy getting inside our heads. It’s anyone’s guess what He’ll dredge up for her.”

  
“Well, if mine and Air’s situations were any indication, I’m sure she doesn’t have it too bad,” Aether said hopefully.

  
“Eternal damnation just ain’t what it used to be,” Earth joked, shaking his head. Despite himself, Aether’s hopeful tone made him add, “But you’re probably right. Still would rather get her out sooner rather than later.”

  
Aether nodded. “Anyone see any marks yet?”

  
“No luck so far,” Alpha said, glancing up at the wall ahead. “Hopefully it won't be much longer.”

  
“If I may,” Air called out, his figure lost in the darkness up ahead. “I believe our search is over.”

  
He waited for the others to approach before continuing, lowering his voice as they neared. Air pointed off to some well hidden corner of the cave. “See for yourself.”

  
Earth squinted at him as they drew closer, straining to see him in the dark.

  
“You sure this is it?” Earth asked.

  
“Fairly sure,” Air said.

  
Earth crouched, slipping between Air and the wall to get a better look. Tucked away, almost hidden from sight, was a thin strip of light. It cut through the dark like a knife, shining brightly through the dust floating through the air. Earth blinked in surprise, shifting closer to get a better look.

  
The source of the light seemed natural, a warm gold beam leaking through a jagged crack in the rock. Earth bowed his head, straining to look through the peer through the opening. He was met with nothing but a blinding white, stinging his eye enough for him to recoil in pain, blinking rapidly. A hand went to rub his eye as he straightened slightly.

  
“Definitely something there,” he said, looking up towards the others.

  
“But is it her cell? That's not the same mark the other entrances had,” Alpha said.

  
“He did say the entrances would be marked. But he didn't say they'd all be marked with the same thing,” Earth said.

  
“I say it’s worth a look,” Aether.

  
Earth nodded, before turning back to the cave wall. He crouched low again and grabbed hold of the edge of the gap in the wall, making sure his grip was firm before pulling hard at the the edge. To his surprise, the section came apart easily, crumbling between his fingertips. He went down on his knees to steady himself, now using both hands to chip away at the stone. As the crevice widened, Alpha came to his aid, pulling apart the rock centimeter by centimeter.

  
Once the crevice was wide enough, Alpha stood, gesturing to the others.

  
“Head on through. She’s probably waiting for us,” he said.

  
Earth nodded, lowering himself to the ground and crawling through the opening.

  
He shut his eyes as he passed through, shielding them until they adjusted to the light. As he went, the cave floor seemed to soften beneath his hands, the rock gradually giving way to earth and grass.

  
Earth opened his eyes as he emerged from the cavern, stepping out into the sunlight. One hand went to shield his eyes as they became accustomed to the new landscape.

  
Supposedly new, he thought. The place was nearly as empty as the desert had been. The grassy plains were the only hint that anything had changed, but even they revealed little on their horizons. There were no hills, no trees, not a single living thing as far as Earth could see. He couldn’t even spot a single weed among the uniform grass. It was as if he’d stepped into an unfinished painting.

  
“Between this and the manager back there, Aether,” Earth called out over his shoulder. “I’d say He’s fine at making illusions. Just not at perfecting them.”

  
Behind him, the others filed out from the cavern in short order, coming up behind him with cautious steps. Just as one of them spoke, Earth spotted a single, crumbling building in the distance, a barely visible gray speck against the sky.

  
“This is gonna take some getting used to,” Alpha said, dusting off his knees.

  
“Maybe. But I already like this place better,” Aether said. “I’ve missed the sun.”

  
“Don’t get too used to it,” Earth said. “We’re not staying here for long.”

  
With that, Earth led the way, starting off towards the lone structure.

* * *

  
“It’s a church.”

  
Earth had said it matter-of-factly, but he knew his voice was breathless, even as he spoke.

  
“What, is that surprising?” Alpha said, eyes glued to the building’s spire. It seemed to pierce the sky, the dull gray a stark contrast against the sky.

  
“It shouldn’t be,” Aether said.  "A lot of us used to be a part of different faiths, you know.”

  
“Just seemed a tad obvious to me,” Earth said. He laughed a bit, shaking his head. He stopped to put on his best narrator’s voice, “‘The ultimate Hell for any Satanist; a Catholic mass.’”

  
“ _Was_ she Catholic?” Aether asked.

  
“I think so. She’’s Polish, isn’t she? Everyone there’s Catholic.” Earth continued walking, stepping into the shadow the building cast across the grass.

"Doesn't look like any Catholic church I've seen," Alpha said.

Earth shrugged. “Something else then. Doesn't matter. Let’s hurry up and get this over with so we can get home.”

  
Alpha nodded. “Before anyone misses us.”

  
“Right. Like anyone would miss us,” Earth muttered, half to himself.

  
“Never know,” Alpha said. “Maybe the Clergy is looking for someone to punish for the damage to the church.”

  
The church doors, they found, were not locked. They’d were wide open, askew, as if flung aside as someone rushed into the building.

  
Out of eagerness, or fear? Earth wondered. But there was no time to contemplate that, not now.

  
The church’s pews were empty, the sunlight streaming through the windows their only occupant. No one stood behind the pulpit, nor up in balconies. The lone figure in the room was Water, head bowed and kneeling in front of the altar.

  
“Mist?” Alpha said hopefully. “Little sis?”

  
She did not move.

  
“Water?” Earth said, hoping her official title would rouse her. “Water, it’s us. Listen, I made a deal with Him that will let us get home--”

  
She glanced up at them, eyes wide with fear, before tucking her head down again.

  
Aether took a step towards her. “Water, do you know where you--” he asked, concern growing in his voice.

  
“Give her time. She might be disoriented,” Air said, cutting him off. “Hell can have that effect on its occupants.”

  
She did nothing to acknowledge them, nothing to indicate that she even noticed their presence.

  
Aether rushed to her side, dropping to his knees next to her. “Water?” he said. “Water?”

  
He reached out to her, his fingertips barely grazing her shoulder before she pulled away from him. Her movement was sudden, desperate, as if she’d been burned.

  
“Sister…” Aether said, hurt.

  
She said nothing, arms crossing over her chest once again as she resumed her previous position.

  
Aether stood slowly. “What’s wrong? Why’s she like this?”

  
“She’s probably just being stubborn. It wasn’t easy getting you out either,” Earth remarked, stepping quickly to her other side.

  
“Water, come on,” he said firmly, “It’s time to go.”

  
Her eyes, desperate and wide, flickered towards him, once. But she didn’t meet his gaze.

  
Earth let out an annoyed sigh. “Water, please. Just--”

  
Water refused to look up as she let out a shuddery breath, one that tapered off into a pained moan. It reverberated throughout the church, far louder than it should have.

  
Earth backed away, brows creasing as he struggled to piece things together. “What’s going on here?” He looked to Air, still lingering off towards the back of the room.

  
He paused for a long moment before answering. He leaned forward onto one of the pews, head bowed in concentration. “I believe He has found something in her past worth exploiting.”

  
Earth and Aether exchanged glances, but said nothing.

  
“What’ll it take then?” Earth said, trying and failing to hide the fear in his voice.

  
Earth swore he heard Air curse under his breath. “I. I don’t know,” Air said, casting his eyes to the floor. His grip on the pew in front of him tightened almost imperceptibly. “I don’t know.”

  
Silence settled upon the room once again. Only their slow breathing could be heard.

  
Alpha stepped forward. “Let me try talking to her.”

  
Earth eyed him suspiciously. “You really think now’s the time for that?”

  
Alpha stopped short, quickly turning his head towards him. “What do you mean?”

  
“I mean…” Earth trailed off, regretting having spoken. “Nevermind. Forget I said anything.”

  
“What did you mean, Earth?” Aether asked.

  
“I just--” Earth began, before cutting himself off. “Look, now’s not the time for your antics. She needs us.”

  
Alpha stared at him, eyes narrowed, before turning and continuing towards the altar. There was a certain determination in his posture as he settled by Water’s side. The silence that sunk in for a moment was anything but comforting. It was broken only by Alpha’s sharp inhale, as if he was preparing himself for his task.

  
“So,” he began. “I think it’s safe to say there’s a lot you haven’t told us.” He laughed nervously.

  
“About your life before the church, I mean, About--” Alpha said, clearing his throat. He gestured around the room weakly. “--all of this. That’s fine, though.” He looked away briefly, before shifting in place, adjusting his position to that he sat cross legged next to her.

  
“...that’s fine. You never had to share that with any of us. Private stuff like that is private for a reason.” He forced himself to look up from his hands. “Just...I want you to know that, whatever went on that’s got you trapped here...we’re here for you, alright?”  
She slowly lifted her eyes up to stare at him. Even without seeing her expression, Earth could see her exhaustion in her movements.

  
Alpha looked down at his hands again. “So, that was everything I had planned to say in my head. I...hope it helped a little.” He faced her again. “But if it didn’t, I’d also like to add--if you ever like, need whoever did this to you taken care of, I’m sure we could convince the Clergy to send someone out.”

  
That got something resembling a reaction out of her, at least. She let out a drawn out breath, her shoulders slumping.

  
Alpha seemed to latch onto this immediately. “Would that help? ‘Cause if it would, you just say the word. We’ll make sure they finally get theirs. But we probably need to work on getting home first.” He trailed off, shutting his eyes. “Wait, sorry, that’s probably not helping.” He looked at her. “No rush. If you need time to think or something, we’ll understand.”

  
“I-it’s--” Water finally said, voice frail. “I-it’s not like that.”

  
“What do you--” Alpha stopped, looked over his shoulder at the others, lowering his voice a bit before continuing. “What do you mean? You told me--”

  
“I know what I told you,” she said. She forced her words out, as if fighting back tears as she spoke. “All that stuff about the commune, how they took everything from us…”

  
“Commune?” Earth repeated. “Is that where--” He stopped when he felt the firm grip of a hand on his shoulder. As he expected, he saw Air when he turned.

  
“Let her speak,” Air warned, before his arm dropped back to his side. “Alpha might be able to draw her out this way.”

  
Earth nodded, looking back to see Water dab at her eyes.

  
“I never told you the worst part,” she said. “I never told you about Adam.”

  
Alpha paused. “Who is he?”

  
“Was,” she said simply. “He was my brother.”

  
“What happened to him?” Alpha asked.

  
She took a moment before answering. “It was after I left the commune. H-he...he.” She bowed her head. “They found his body...on the bathroom floor. Blood. So much blood--”

  
“You don’t have to keep talking about this,” Alpha said, reaching out and gently touching her arm.

  
She nodded, before looking up at the wooden cross on the wall. “I know why I’m here. It’s where I was after I heard the news.”

  
“Was this where the funeral was?” Alpha asked.

  
She shook her head. “They wouldn’t give him a funeral. They told me people who leave the world the way he did don’t deserve one.” Water lowered her eyes. “I came here because of what I’d done.”

  
“What you…” Alpha said, brow creased in confusion.

  
“Alpha,” she said. “It was my fault.”

  
“This wasn’t your fault, Mist,” Alpha said firmly. “Who told you that?”

  
“No one. I just knew.” Water looked away. “I abandoned him when I left home. I left him there with them. If I’d just found a way to leave with him--”

  
“This wasn’t your fault,” Alpha said.

  
“--I came here and begged for forgiveness,” Water continued, as if she hadn’t heard him. “For leaving their church, for leaving him. I prayed for answers, and I got nothing. That’s when I realized what Adam must have felt like when I escaped without home. It’s when I realized what it feels like to be alone.”

  
Alpha was quiet for a long while, waiting until her sobs quieted.

  
“I'm sorry, Sister. I'm sorry you had to go through that,” Alpha said. “And I'm sorry that you blame yourself for what happened.”

  
“It was my fault,” she whispered.

  
“That's not true,” Alpha said. “You know that's not true.”

  
Earth watched her fold her hands in her lap slowly, head still hanging.

  
“...you also know you aren’t alone, right?” he said.

  
“That’s what I thought,” she said. “I thought I had Him when I joined the Church. I thought if God had left me, maybe someone else would have something to offer. But here I am. Here we all are.” She shook her head. “None of it mattered.”

  
Alpha placed his hand on hers, waiting for her to look up.

  
“That’s not true,” he said. “You’d still have us. With or without the church.”

  
She met his eyes. “What do you…”

  
“Water, listen. Earth and I found out something today. We all did.” He gestured for Earth to step closer.

  
“That’s right,” Earth said, walking up and sitting by her side. “We found out the other guy is just as capable of being awful as the one up above. And our worship means even less to Him.”

  
“So I’m right then,” she said sadly. “We have no one to turn to. Nothing to work towards.”

  
“Sister, listen to me,” Earth said. “We don’t need either of them to give our lives meaning.”

  
“We...we can make our own meaning,” Aether added. “We don’t need any doctrine, any rules, nothing to guide us. We can live for ourselves now.”

  
She was quiet for a long while. Her grip around herself loosened.

  
“I'd still be alone again,” she said, eyes darting between them. “If I went back. No congregation. No family. No one.”

  
Alpha squeezed her hand. “That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”

  
She blinked away more tears, could not speak. Water looked around the room, eyes yearning, as if there was something she’d left unsaid. Alpha placed an arm around her shoulders and moved to help her up. She did not resist, even as her knees shook beneath her.

  
“I-I've been kneeling here for a while,” she explained.

  
“You’re alright, you’re alright,” Alpha said as she stumbled forward, unsteady.

  
“Thank you,” she blurted once she stood. Her eyes watered again, even as they softened. “Thank you.”

  
Earth and Aether hurried towards her.

  
“Everything okay?” Aether asked.

  
She nodded, wiping her eyes. “Just...just tired.”

  
“We’re almost home,” Earth said.

  
Air was standing at the door as the others reached it, back turned towards them.

  
“Come along, then,” he said. He pressed the door further open with one hand, motioning them through.

  
The summer breeze seemed to have picked up while they were inside the cathedral. It set the ground ablaze with movement as the grass swayed with its pull. In the back of his mind, Earth thought of how he couldn’t wait to feel the wind on his face again.

  
“So what now?” Alpha asked.

  
“Do we just sit and wait?” Aether asked.

  
“Yes, did you receive any instructions from Him when you came to your agreement?” Air asked.

  
“I didn’t,” Earth said. “I’d say we have a little time to ourselves before heading back.”

  
“Well, in that case, I’ve got a question for everyone--” Alpha began.

  
“No, we’re not celebrating with an orgy when we get back,” Earth said.

  
“Pfft. Alright, be that way,” Alpha joked, getting a tiny giggle out of Water. “No, but really, how much would it suck if we did all that and He still decided not to let us leave?”

  
“I said don’t give him any ideas,” Earth said quickly.

  
“Okay, I’ve got another question then.” Alpha said. “What’ve we still got our masks on for?”

  
Earth blinked. “Eh…”

  
“Guess there’s no need if we’ll be leaving the church when we get home, right?” Aether asked, looking to others.

  
“Speak for yourself,” Air said. “But if you’re all so certain, I supposed there’s no harm in removing them.”

  
“Woo!” Alpha said, pumping his fist in the air. “Let me go first. I’ve been thinking of trying this new skincare routine, and I’d like some opinions on my skin type.” He stopped, placing a hand on both sides of his mask. “Alright. Brace yourselves. My good looks are blinding.” There was the slight sound of scraping, metal against fabric, as he tilted his mask forward.

  
Until there was another crack in the sky.

  
Alpha hastily dropped his arms, stumbling back as the sky parted, a familiar voice ready to greet them.

  
“I see you have completed the task I gave you,” He said. “How noble.”

  
“Surprised?” Earth mumbled.

  
“Not in the slightest,” He said. “You may call me many things, but I am a fair being. And yes, I do plan on holding up my end of the bargain.”

  
“Maybe you aren’t are unmerciful as you seem,” Earth said, looking up at the glass plane with narrowed eyes.

  
“You’d certainly like to think so, wouldn’t you?” He replied. “But enough of that. I'm sure you're looking forward to hearing a about that condition I mentioned.”

  
Earth’s expression fell. “I-I forgot about that, actually.”

  
“So I see.” There was the barest hint of amusement in His voice. “But there’s no time like the present to catch up on that, I say.”

  
“Uh…” Earth swallowed hard. “What condition do you have for me then?”

  
“It is...continuous,” He said. “Lifelong. You see, human, I predicted you would be quite unhappy with me, with your little church--upon learning about my feelings toward you all. I thought, perhaps, that you would be all too eager to inform your friends of your discovery. To try and save them for your eventual fate. To tell them they still have a chance to start their lives anew. I see now just how correct I was.”

  
Earth swallowed hard. Behind him, the others exchanged nervous glances.

  
“I envision you now, returning home,” He continued. “So elated to live your new life. But I regret to inform you that returning to your home will also require returning to a time prior to the playing of the sacred hymn your church managed to construct. A time before any of this happened. Before your friends learned of your fates. Only you will remember any of what has taken place today."

  
“That’s fine by me,” Earth said, smirking under his mask. More than fine, he thought.

  
“It certainly sounds that way, doesn’t it? You’ll be no worse for the wear, free from any punishment for your actions, but with the lesson still learned. All you’ll need to do is tell them.”

  
“Sounds fair,” Earth said with a nod.

  
“But that is where my stipulation comes into play.”

  
Earth squinted up at Him. “What…”

  
He paused, relishing the moment.

  
“No one will ever believe you.”

  
Earth lurched a step back, eye going wide with realization. He looked down, cursing under his breath, before raising his eyes again.

  
“You bastard!”

  
“You think that's harsh, just imagine what you all will have waiting for you when your time for judgement comes again,” He replied.

  
Before Earth even had a chance to respond, the ground shattered beneath them, collapsing in on itself and plunging them downward.

  
“Enjoy your punishment!” He said. “I’ve long waited to use this one!”

* * *

  
And then Earth was walking down the hallway, a record tucked under his arm, Aether at his side. Aether was humming something to himself, no doubt with a smile on his face. Earth slowed to a stop, frantically looking over his shoulder, at his hands, at the path ahead.

  
Aether stopped short, turning towards him. “You alright?”

  
“Yeah…” Earth said, stopping to stare down at the floor.

  
“You sure? Is something bothering you?” Aether said, leaning in a bit.

  
“No…” Earth said with a sigh, still staring off into space. “I was just thinking.” He looked up suddenly. “Uh, you know, I’m beginning to think that the new album won’t need a choral intro after all.”

  
“Hm?” Aether said, looking down at the record in his hands. “But we spent forever looking for the record down there--”

  
“Uh, why don’t we just try something new? Or some other arrangement?” Earth said, a bit too quickly. He snatched the record out of Aether’s hand, tucking it under his arm. “I'm sure something else will work even better.”

  
“But--”

  
“I’ll just drop these off at Imperator’s office later. C’mon, let’s see how the other’s are doing.”

  
With that, Earth started down the hallway again, hurrying down the hall and into the Ghoul’s quarters.

  
They found Alpha and Water sprawled out on the couch, Alpha with a book in his hands as Water peeked at its pages over his shoulder.

  
“What was this one called again?” she asked.

  
“ _The Baby Jesus Butt Plug_. Catchy title, huh?” he said. He looked up when Earth and Aether entered the room. “Oh hey, you’re finally here. Did you find the record?”

  
“Record?” Earth said heading for the empty seat across from him.

  
“The one you wanted us to listen to. You know, the thing about the choir?” Alpha said.

  
“Oh. Uh. No,” Earth said, tightening his grip on the records. “Couldn’t find anything worth using.” Aether shot Earth a confused glance, which Earth happily ignored as he took his seat.

  
“Maybe we can ask the Clergy to supply us with something?” Water said.

  
“Yeah. Sounds good. Good plan.” He sighed through his teeth, sinking into the chair. “What a day…”

  
“Those catacombs must be hell to navigate,” Water said, looking over at him with concern in her eyes. “You look exhausted.”

  
Earth let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah. Sort of.”

  
“Hey, why don’t I grab you guys some ice water and a Maiden LP? That always helps me after a long day,” Alpha said, putting his book down.

  
“I guess,” Earth said. “Thanks.”

  
“That sounds nice!” Aether said, going to sit next to Water.

  
Alpha stood. “Anyone else want anything while I’m up?”

  
“A beer would be nice, actually,” Earth said, weakly waving a hand.

  
“Same for me,” Air said, not moving from his corner of the room.

  
“Coming right up!” Alpha said, already on his way out.

  
Earth watched him leave for a long moment before forcing himself to sit up a bit. “Hey guys, I’ve got a question…”

  
“We might have an answer,” Air said.

  
“Um. Let’s see. Trying to be vague here,” Earth said.

  
“You can tell us anything on your mind, Earth,” Water said.

  
“Yeah. If anything’s wrong, we can try and help,” Aether said.

  
“I kind of doubt that, but thanks.” Earth pressed his mouth into a thin line. “So let’s say something...something happens, and it turns out the church was wrong about a few things. What would you do?”

  
“Brother Earth,” Air began, one brow lowered. “Are you having doubts?”

  
“Not exactly,” Earth said. “Look, this is all hypothetical--”

  
“Air, everyone has doubts,” Water said, crossing her arms. “You think I decided to join the church of Ghost overnight? I spent years asking questions before I even came to Sweden.”

  
“I think she’s right,” Aether added. “And anyway, isn’t it good for him to asking questions? Thirst for knowledge and all that? Lucifer himself would be proud.”

  
“I don’t know…” Earth let out another empty laugh. “Just...wouldn’t it be even a little devastating? Knowing we dedicated our lives to the church and all?”

  
“Listen, Earth,” Water said. “Even if the church was wrong about a few details, does it really matter? It gave us direction, it saved so many peoples’ lives--”

  
“And.” Aether raised a finger. “I don’t want to sound cheesy or anything, but it’s how we met each other, right?” He looked around the room for approval.

  
Water laughed good naturedly. “That’s nice too, I guess.”

  
“Guess that counts for something,” Earth said quietly. He felt a small smile tug at his mouth, watching as Water leaned her head on Aether’s shoulder.

  
“It’s like having four brothers.” She nodded toward Air. “Or maybe three brothers. And one weird uncle no on talks about.”

  
Air snorted. Somehow, Earth could tell he was smirking a bit under the mask.

  
“Back!” Alpha announced, walking into the room, arms loaded. “Brought some snacks, too. Just in case.”

  
“They’re all for you, aren’t they?” Water said.

  
“Yeah, kinda,” Alpha said, shrugging one shoulder. He tossed Aether his water bottle, before going over to Earth, arms outstretched in offering.

  
“Kitchen was out of the kind you like. But I found this ‘non-alcoholic’ Carlsberg stuff at the back of the fridge. That work?”

  
“Sure,” Earth huffed, reaching out and grabbing the bottle.

  
He leaned back in his chair, watching Alpha hand off the last bottle before heading straight for the record player.

  
“Picked _Number of the Beast_ ,” he said, snickering as he set up the record. “Appropriate, yeah?”

  
“Great observation, Alpha.” Earth said.

  
“Are you feeling better, Earth?” Aether asked.

  
Earth hesitated, taking a sip from his bottle.

  
“Yeah, I am,” he finally said.

There were worse people await damnation with.

**Author's Note:**

> In the story's climax, Alpha speaks to Water/Mist about her past. She speaks briefly about her old life in cult-like situation, describing how how her deceased brother's body was found in the bathroom after she left home, with the heavy implication that he committed suicide by slitting his wrists. She also mentions how her family refused to give him a proper funeral because of this.  
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
> So, this story that was originally meant to be my take on "Bizzaro fiction" in the style of Carlton Mellick III definitely turned into something else. Credit to zandreck on Reddit for partially inspiring my depiction of the Devil with their write-up of Meliora: https://www.reddit.com/r/Ghostbc/comments/5zhk1s/meliora_explained_my_take_on_it/ and to Special for supplying me with a quote to end on: “Lyrically, it’s on one hand a hymn about the dark lord of the underworld. On the other hand it paints a picture of a swarm of people, whom in a world of complete disaster, idolizes an authority that is clearly looking down upon them. How to love something that hates you back.”


End file.
